I have been through one full week of life back at work. It is a LOT easier knowing she is with my mom AND the fact that I see and nurse her at lunch. It's also easier because unlike some other working moms, I happen to actually enjoy my job and the people I work with. Here is a recap of a typical day with Goon:
6am - go get Goon out of her crib and bring her downstairs to eat
6:30am - pump out rest of engorged milk while Steve changed/dresses goon and puts her in our bed to watch TV - I get ready for work
7am - leave house
7:35 - leave Goon at Nana's
7:50am - Get to work
9am - pump
11:50am - leave work to go to Nana's to eat lunch and nurse Goon
12:55pm - leave Nana's under protest to go back to work
3pm - pump
4:59pm - leave work to get Goon at Nana's
6pm - get home and nurse Goon
6:30pm - fix dinner and watch TV while playin with goon
8pm - Tummy time, playtime with daddy while I get everything ready for the next day - diaper bag, bottles, nipples, breakfast, laundry, clothes to wear, shower, add water to humidifier, get ready for bed
9:30pm - bathtime and PJs
10pm - Goon gets a big bottle of breastmilk from daddy while I pump.
10:30-10:45pm - Goon gets swaddled and put down
11pm - BEDTIME
My employers are very accommodating to my pumping at work. Matter of fact we have moved our monthly magazine meeting back to 9:30am for that very reason. Each time, I am lucky I have a door I can close and LOCK and spend time relaxing looking at a photo of Goon and provide her with food. I take pride in the fact that I still feel like I am "mothering" her from afar. It helps me make sense of myself in the challenging new role as a mother while continuing my pre-baby work life. I like that it keeps me feeling connected to her all day long. I'm forced to take "baby time" when I'm at work, and seeing her in the middle of the day has eased the transition immensely.
Breast feeding TO ME, usually plays an integral role in forming the deep attachment between a mother a baby. Bottle-feeding mothers, OF COURSE, also become securely attached to their babies. There are many items in the attachment toolbox - but breast feeding to me, is an extraordinarily powerful one that I'm thankful for. I think the fact that I've been successful so far at it has made me more confident as a parent as well. I think feeding babies is a fundamental responsibility of parenting. After that comes all other things. If we develop little faith in our independent ability to perform that primary task, we may not be certain in our other abilities of parenting. But I WILL NOT be disappointed when I decide to (or my body decides to dry up) wean off breast feeding. I already feel proud that I do it now and am very successful at it. Plus my baby has a double chin and is getting FAT!
This week has been a week of firsts for Goon:
-She stays at Nana's during the day while I work.
-She had a babysitter for the first time (who wasn't family) Friday night so Steve and I could go to our annual Ball. Which meant this was the first time she was fed by someone other than Me, Steve or Nana. Not that I've been avoiding other people feeding her, but it has just worked out that way I guess.
-She slept in her crib for the first time Saturday night. She's been sleeping soundly through the night in her pack n play in our bedroom for around 3 weeks now so I relinquished her to her room upstairs. I figured we might as well do it now or it will be harder later. The video monitor helped me a lot. I'm not worried about her scooting around or choking/ dying or whatever like I used to when she was like a week old....I just liked having her near me. Plus it helped with her being close when she would wake to nurse in the middle of the night. But if she's sleeping through the night, not needing me, what's the point of having her sleep in our room? It's been hard but it's just one of those transitions that has to come and pass.
note: these opinions on Breast feeding are mine but I fault no mother who chooses NOT to Breast feed. It's a mothers choice. and I'm not one of those people who will judge others. I still can't believe I'm a breast feeding mother after years of thinking "ew, I don't want some baby sucking from my nipple!?" I told myself when I was 5 months pregnant, " I'll try it, but if I hate it or it hurts, Imma stop". Turns out I've become an advocate for it, but not a Lactivist yet ;-)